


All's Good In The Hood

by Laurasauras



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Like Good For Friending Not So Much For Mackin', Meteorstuck, Proper Alien Trolls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-11-02 13:00:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20754557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurasauras/pseuds/Laurasauras
Summary: Rose tells Dave that she thinks his snug little god hood looks sexy. Dave can't let it go.





	All's Good In The Hood

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Grubbutts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grubbutts/gifts).

> Karkat and Kanaya and the rest of the trolls are there, but they're giant bug monsters. It's fanfic, I get to make the rules.

Rose puts down her pen and looks up at Dave with her best librarian-style judgement. 

ROSE: Yes, Dave. We are all aware you have a cape.

Dave continues to swish his cape. He makes eye contact with Rose, mouth perfectly expressionless, and dives into a forward roll, coming out of it standing, cape fluttering with something a little more than the usual rules of physics. 

ROSE: You may have a 7.  
ROSE: Can you please find something a little less distracting to do?  
DAVE: nah

Dave jumps into the air and hovers about a foot from the ground. He flies a little closer to Rose and his cape ripples out behind him. 

DAVE: these are the swaggiest damn jammies anyone ever wore  
ROSE: I've already complimented your godtier garb far past the expectations anyone would have for me.  
DAVE: the *cape* rose  
DAVE: never realised what i needed all along to be a hero was a cape but it turns out thats literally all there is to it  
DAVE: superman isnt that big of a deal he has a dope cape that does all the work  
DAVE: yeah i said it

Dave floats gently to the ground and picks up the end of his cape. He drops it on Rose’s head. It immediately falls off, but her judgemental look is slightly ruined by the fact that she’s fighting back a smile.

ROSE: Personally I think the highlight is your cowl. Very sexy.  
DAVE: ok yes the hood is dumb as shit but we cant all have cool symbolic eye covering nonsense robes  
ROSE: I was being sincere. It does something to your outline, I was very taken with it.  
ROSE: It's a shame you never wear it up, though I can understand not wanting the whole meteor to flock to you and prostrate themselves at your feet.  
DAVE: youre taking the joke past funny rose im never going to believe that of all the things that could attract you to this its my snug little hood  
ROSE: I'm not lying, but I have better things to do than assure you of your own hotness.

Rose picks up her pen again, assured that for the time being the sartorial swishing is done, and resumes her endless writing. She’s approaching the end of the massive tome, but they are also approaching the end of their three-year meteor journey, and Dave has no idea what she’s written. He assumes she’ll use her Rose powers to finish like half an hour before they land. He doesn’t know if they are Light powers; he’s fairly sure that Rose has always had her own brand of power, way before Sburb.

DAVE: ok im gonna go find someone who will actually appreciate my dope cape  
ROSE: Tell Kanaya I say, “Hi.”  
DAVE: you dont know me, maybe i think vriska is my best option  
ROSE: Lol.

Okay, points for Rose for saying that out loud instead of laughing. Dave decides to leave before she accrues too many more points, at this rate she’s gonna lap him. 

He considers going to bother one of the trolls, but Rose has given him a lot to think about. He heads to his respiteblock, he means his bedroom, and stares at his reflection in his full length mirror. 

Slowly, he reaches up and pulls his snug little hood into place. His hair gets pressed flat and somehow gets behind his shades to poke him in the eyelids, so he tucks it all into his hood, like it was when he first … leveled up.

His shades look massive and his head looks compressed, somehow. This is not his best look. He flatters himself that he’s fully aware of his best looks, and they go, in order: hair messy + shy smile combob, oh no you caught me without my shades, fresh out of shower. This doesn’t even crack the top ten.

Where the fuck are his ears?

DAVE: she cant think this is attractive  
DAVE: shes messing with me  
DAVE: rule one: rose is always messing with you  
DAVE: you *know* this its like entry level lalondian theory

Dave continues to stare at his reflection. 

DAVE: NO  
DAVE: shes messing with me!

He tugs his hood down and his hair springs back into place. Huh, that might be the perfect way to get it looking artfully messy. 

He pulls the hood back on, just to make sure. He points at his reflection.

DAVE: listen to me you sexy bastard  
DAVE: you have a lot of fly looks but this aint one  
DAVE: lalonde played you   
DAVE: she probably will take one look at you and know that this happened

He lets his hand fall. 

DAVE: jesus christ i look like a fucking condom

*

Dave manages to go a whole week without bringing up the hood thing again. When he does, Rose just gives him a smile that’s impossible to interpret and reaches up to find the seam where his hood gets hidden away. Her fingers brush against his neck and make him shiver. She smiles a little broader.

ROSE: I think it’s a similar effect to one of your suits. It makes you look put together.   
ROSE: Makes me think of rumpling you up.

Rose musses up his hair pointedly. Dave stares at her and tries to remember how to speak.

ROSE: Is the speechlessness related to the compliment or the touching?  
ROSE: I’ve always wanted to know exactly how to get Dave Strider to stop talking for two seconds.

Dave swallows. Rose hasn’t taken her hand away yet.

DAVE: im plenty quiet  
DAVE: im a picture of serenity every damn day  
DAVE: so quiet i blend into the background like a ninja  
ROSE: You could never blend into the background.

Dave’s words fail him again. Rose smiles.

ROSE: The compliment then. Good to know.

She leans in and presses a gentle kiss to Dave’s nose before releasing him and walking out of the room. Her hips sway more than usual, the way they do when she’s particularly pleased with herself, something Dave should know. If there’s a position going in the scientific department of studying Rose’s ass, he wouldn’t even need to interview, that job is his.

*

Dave stares at his behooded reflection again. Maybe it’s that he’s been looking at it so much. He’s gotten used to it. It doesn’t look as stupid as it used to.

It still looks pretty stupid. But what does he know about Rose’s taste?

DAVE: i just gotta pretend like i think its a joke  
DAVE: just going to make her laugh  
DAVE: like haha lalonde careful you dont cream yourself over my ears being pressed into my skull by snuggly pajama fabric i know that really revs your motors  
DAVE: is it funnier if i just wear the hood  
DAVE: and like a really snug pair of briefs obviously  
DAVE: and then if it turns out shes not joking then cool i have no idea what will happen but ideally something i dont want to monologue aloud about  
DAVE: and if she is joking its fine because im joking too

Dave stares at his reflection some more. 

DAVE: nope cant do it never mind

*

It’d be easier if he could stand outside her house holding a boom box. 

Possibly Dave has been watching too many rom coms, one of the many perks of having a giant bug alien as a best friend, but not one of them has actually told him how to go about being romantic. Especially not with Rose, where he would just have to bring his A-game. 

She knows him. She wouldn’t accept anything less than his best. His seduction of Rose just would have to be a masterpiece in layered irony to prove that he took her seriously. And maybe his dumb little god hood was the key to that.

That, or the far more likely scenario in which she just told him they were together now. 

God it would be easier if she would just do it for him. 

DAVE: so  
DAVE: heres my question  
DAVE: does my hood look ridiculous or is it actually very sexy  
KARKAT: I CANNOT FATHOM WHY YOU THOUGHT I WOULD BE THE CORRECT PERSON TO ASK ABOUT THIS.  
DAVE: ive seen you eat a bug right off the wall and idek if it was a food bug or not i cant be intimidated by you anymore  
DAVE: kanaya might chainsaw me into tiny pieces if i was too wrong about fashion  
KARKAT: SIGH.  
DAVE: did you just say sigh.

Karkat sighs again, more dramatically. It goes through all kinds of buggy subvocalisations that make Dave kind of want to giggle. The fact that he’s surrounded by aliens never quite stops being awesome.

KARKAT: OKAY, SHOW ME THE HOOD.

Dave pops the hood up and spreads his arms facetiously. He considers doing a twirl. He does not do a twirl.

KARKAT: I CAN’T TELL IF YOU LOOK NORMAL RIDICULOUS, OR EXTRA RIDICULOUS.   
KARKAT: WHAT IF YOU PUT THOSE FAKE HORNS ON WITH YOUR HOOD.  
DAVE: dude stop trying to get me to cosplay as a troll  
KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU’RE ASKING ME. YOU SHOULD ASK ROSE.  
DAVE: thats the problem she said yes it looks dope as hell but im 90% sure shes fucking with me and the remaining 10% is driving me out of my tiny little mind

Dave looks desperately at Karkat, but while he can confidently identify what the dominant appealing features are in humans now thanks to a fuckload of movies, not even he is going to be able to give insight into Rose Lalonde’s hood preferences.

Dave turns to the Mayor. The Mayor gives him an encouraging thumbs up. His two best bros have failed him utterly.

*

Dave knocks on Rose’s door, leaning against it on an angle calculated to look as ridiculous as possible without him actually falling over, his hood pulled up. He’s run out of options. He just needs to lean into it.

DAVE: yo  
DAVE: this doing anything for you

Rose looks up, having ignored Dave’s knock, or maybe not heard it. She tends to get a bit lost in her books. 

She places the book down and tilts her head to the side. Dave angles his chin up helpfully, showing off the snugness. 

ROSE: What is happening here?

Dave shrugs and straightens up. He steps into Rose’s room and casually closes the door behind him. He doesn’t think he’s convincingly casual, but it’s all he has to work with. 

DAVE: heard the ladies liked the hood

Rose stands up and does a slow circle around Dave. He keeps himself still, even though it fills him with even more nervous energy when she’s behind him. 

ROSE: Am I being seduced?  
DAVE: cmon rose can you not tell  
ROSE: Not really, no.  
DAVE: heard the ladies also liked really ambiguous seductions where the dude can pretend it was all a joke if shes not into it

Rose comes to a stop in front of Dave again. She’s standing close. 

DAVE: so like  
DAVE: are you into it or am i joking

Rose smiles and traces the outline of Dave’s hood before letting her hand drop again. She’s going to kill him through a thousand small touches and he’ll thank her for every one.

ROSE: You’re very cute when you try too hard.  
DAVE: you must think im cute all the time huh  
ROSE: Yes.

Kiss her, Dave urges himself. He’s legitimately concerned that he might be having a heart attack, but he’s too busy thinking about how Rose’s lips are close, he could reach out and put his hands on her waist, they’re just standing close to each other, not even speaking, this could not be more obviously an invitation for him to just once be cool.

He leans in, but spooks before he can close the distance properly. Rose matches his closeness perfectly. Their noses are nearly touching. He can’t back out of this, it’s so obvious that he nearly kissed her that he wouldn’t gain anything from chickening out. She could pull back, but she’s not. Kiss her!

He forgets to close his eyes. She stares past his shades like she doesn’t care that people conventionally don’t look while they kiss. Her lips are soft, but kind of tacky. Lipstick, he assumes. He feels it more in his heart than in his lips.

He pulls back and she smiles, touching her fingertips to his lips. They come back black. He has the ridiculous thought that he wants that all over him, wants to see where she’s kissed him. 

DAVE: it was the hood right  
ROSE: What can I say? It does something to me.

She tugs on the front fringe of his cape and he follows her lead, kissing her again. He still has no idea whether she’s fucking with him. He loves it.  



End file.
